Professionally Pregnant

Round III of our 3^rd pregnancy’s doctor appointments commenced today. I am a pro at the whole routine now and like to bask in the little things that make these appointments so exciting (and later annoying).

Little Thing #1

I fist-pumped at the fact that the elevator was already on the 1^st floor and awaiting our entry when we got there. First-timers wouldn’t know this but the elevator in that building is S-L-O-W and God forbid it be on any floor other than 1 when you arrive. You’ll be standing there a long damn time – enough to make you late for your appointment.

Little Thing #2

The scent of latex and hand sanitizer. It is distinct and oh-so familiar as soon as you step off the painstakingly slow elevator.  When that clean, sterile waft hits me, I imagine I’m 36 weeks pregnant and ready to pop. Soooo, I’ve got a ways to go.

Little Thing #3

While checking in, I know to automatically grab the code for the exit gate in the parking lot. The newbies before me didn’t do this and I watched as they drove around the gate because they didn’t know there was an exit code. That’ll learn ‘em. I will have this memorized by the appointment 3 and be proud of it.

Little Thing #4

Pee tests. I know to bring my own permanent marker with me strictly for use on the pee cups. Why? Because the frayed, overused and dried up marker they have in the bathroom will no longer write on the pee cups because they are frayed, overused and dried up. You basically end up etching your name in the cup with your car key.

Little Thing #5

Staring in awe at the strep B test instructions while giving your urine sample, both excited for it because doing it means you’re close to the end, but also horrified by it because well…look it up. I always look forward to telling Kyle about the experience afterward so he can be almost as disgusted as I am by the whole thing. Good times.

Little Thing #6

I no longer have to ask for help in trying to read ultrasounds. I can correctly identify each body part within the grainy mess of a sonogram. Penis? Phalange? Nope, it’s the umbilical cord. I might as well be certified.

Little Thing #7

The wrench. There’s always something involving pregnancy protocol that has changed since your last pregnancy. Just to keep things interesting, I think they throw a wrench into things, an extra no-no, an additional SOP, a quirky extra step. I go back in a month. I wasn’t expecting to go back for at least 8 weeks, like with my first two. Cool, an extra pee test…and another co-pay.

Little Thing #8

Kyle and I have a routine post-appointment lunch at Chef’s In. Every time I eat there, pregnant or not, it makes me happy. This is where I eat when I’m pregnant (smile).

Now that everything is confirmed I’m ready to rock this out. I’m looking forward to big appointments, pointless annoying ones, new belly kicks, getting fat, the countdown, my hospital stay, a new little face to love and three months off of work. Let’s get rowdy baby!