In not working, it's difficult to get out of the house on a regular basis and be inspired, thus my lack of entries as of late. But given that today is National Coming Out Day, I feel obligated to write something I've been trying to write for some time now, but just haven't found the words to accurately express what I'm trying to express. Additionally, I feel unqualified to comment since my personal experience with the gay community has been limited. But I do have an opinion so what the hell.
In the past I have sat down with three gay people and asked (because this seems to be a big item of debate), "When did you realize you were gay?" I asked because since the beginning of debate, we seem to be stuck on this whole Nature vs. Nurture thing. Are you born gay or are do you become gay? Is it genetic or acquired? Is it contagious? Please. All three stated they knew they were "different" (their word, not mine) from a very young age. So after having some honest conversation with some gay people, I can't believe that being gay is something you become. Others disagree. Be that as it may, does it matter? If you are or you choose to be? Shouldn't you be respected either way? I think so ...
...and others disagree. Vicious cycle...
---
The population in Northern Michigan while relatively small, really runs the gamut of political, social and civil opinions. I have seen both extremes and everything in between represented here and it is much more evident because we are a smaller community. I respect the difference of opinion but a few weeks ago, a friend shared a story with me that was really touching and poignant. So, I'll reshare in short and hopefully my friend won't mind.
My friend's sister came out a little while ago. As of a few weeks ago, most of her friends and family knew however her grandparents did not, her grandfather being described to me as a staunch conservative. There was some worry on how they would react and I can only assume it was kept from them as there was some level of fear on how they would react, if they would be hurt, disappointed, etc. At this point, I'm a little heartbroken because I can't imagine what it would be like, what it would feel like, to be something and fear that the ones who you love the most wouldn't support you in that or would be let down by you, whether it's for being gay, pursuing an unlikely career or making some unexpected decision. Your every hope would be that you'd have their unconditional backing, yes? Lack thereof wouldn't change anything, however, it would have to break you a little bit inside, I'm sure.
Anyway, my friend's sister finally came out to her grandparents and ... what do you know? They love their granddaughter. They support her and respect her and hold her just as dear as they ever did. How amazing! I was so happy for her, so happy for her grandparents and her whole family in general. To have the acceptance, love and support of those closest to her. Shouldn't everyone have that?
---
I don't want to get into a big argument about it. Like I said, I respect the difference of opinion but will never respect hate and unfortunately, there's a lot of the latter. It makes me sad and confused. Why hate someone for being who they are. It's like hating tall people. I'm 5'4", should I hate tall people because they're different than me? Should I hate blondes because they are and I'm not? Should we hate at all? That's rhetorical people.
My pie-in-the-sky hope is that anyone who is living with the fear of not being able to openly be what they want to be has at least one person, one person in their life who will not judge, not devalue and not hate them when it seems like all of society does. Maybe that one person will give them enough strength to carry on and live their life the way it should be lived, full and happy.
I know that my little blog post isn't going to change anyone's opinion. I would think that maybe not hurting a fellow human being, physically or emotionally would take precedent over some political viewpoint though. And to most, that's all this is. Politics, or religion. And if your God promotes hate then...I don't very much like your God.
Someone once wrote to Abigail Van Buren, better known as "Dear Abby," complaining that a gay couple had recently moved in across the street and they wanted to know what they could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood. Abby simply replied, "You could move."
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
No comments:
Post a Comment