One of my co-workers today said that her son wants to join the Navy Seals. Initially I envisioned an 8 year old boy with an imagination running rampant, running around with a soldier’s helmet on making explosion noises and crashing toy helicopters into things. Then I realized, my co-worker’s son is not 8 years old. He’s 21. And serious.
Immediately I ask, “Are you freaking out? What did you say? Is he doing this because of the glorification of Seal Team Six? I would totally be freaking out - are you freaking out?” As if I was one who had any right to ask such inappropriate questions. Then I stole the shoes off her feet and put them on mine and wanted to cry. What if someday my daughter (or son whom I haven’t had yet) comes to me at a tender age and tells me they want to serve our country. I could lie and say I would be proud and honored that I had produced such an unselfish human being. But I wouldn’t. If I’m being honest, I totally wouldn’t. Because being that child’s mother trumps all things. It trumps pride, honor, common sense, all things material, all things immaterial; loving that child and keeping them safe so I can cherish every moment I can with them while I am on this earth is priority one, far beyond anything else in this world. Selfish, yes. Can I help it? Nope.
So, if my child tells me they want to go through horrendous training that pushes them to their limits both mentally and physically, then go throw themselves into harm’s way to protect our country, my initial thought is to cry hysterically and then lock up my child and throw away the key. Then open a bottle of whiskey.
I am not anti or pro military, war or defense. I don’t like it but understand that it is a necessity although I’m unsure as to what measure. I understand these things are part of our past, present and future and that there will be no end to them, at least within the next few generations. Perhaps my indifference comes from the fact that I’ve not been directly affected by all that stuff. My Dad served but he doesn’t talk about it so I’m not sure to what extent. I have had no close relatives die in war and the wars of my generation have paled in comparison to past wars – if you can even compare wars – they’re all awful.
I am however extremely thankful for those who serve. I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around the strength, courage and selflessness it takes to offer yourself to the cause. It really is baffling.
You’d think that if my child bore those qualities and offered their service, I’d be proud and ecstatic that I could raise such a being. But no. I’d be sad and heart-broken and in a state of constant worry, even more than I already am. I’d trade places if I could but the government would probably refuse my service on account of my age, my lack of physical fitness, my bad knee and the ease with which I can cry and be a big, fat sissy. I can’t think of something I wouldn’t do to save my child from potentially sacrificing themselves for the common good. Weird right? How could such a selfish person produce something so selfless?
After continuing to probe my co-worker about her son’s decision I learned that enlisting is the first time in his life he’s ever been so driven. He had no knack for school, struggled through two years of college and found himself passionless and without motivation. Now he wants to be a Navy Seal. That’s his calling, his thing. His mother asked, “Why the Seals?” And he replied, “If I’m going to do something, I want to be the best of the best,” and she said he’s never talked about anything with as much passion as making this commitment. He’s talked to countless recruiters and current Seals. He’s educated himself about the process, what it means, what to expect. He’s done his research and this is where his fire burns. I guess that’s the kind of guy (or gal) I want serving our country and protecting us and our freedoms; one who knows what s/he’s getting into and is 100% sure it is what s/he wants to do. This makes me sad to think of the drafting days when unwilling men were forced to serve.
Ultimately, if I am as good a parent as I think I am, I suppose I will have to support my child’s decision in whatever path they choose, even if it doesn’t fall into my hopes and dreams for them. I didn’t have children so they could do what I want them to do. This doesn’t guarantee that I won’t lock them up for a few days so they can think about it; I just won’t throw away the key.
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