The Splendid Stare

The other day I visited my mom for lunch. She works at a hospital so we will have lunch together on occasion in the cafeteria. The Maternity Ward (is it still a “Maternity Ward” or is it just “Maternity” now? “Ward” sounds dark to me…) is en route to the cafeteria and every time I walk past it, I’m instantly drawn to it and can’t wait until my next visit. Part of me just wants to walk in and randomly visit new mothers and their babies. I distinctly remember both of my visits, walking down the long hall to the check-in desk. “Aubrey Kitzmiller, I’m in labor.” I’m instantly giddy. I remember how hysterically happy I was when my water broke with Eden. Happy because I knew birth was imminent and also because contractions hadn’t started. I couldn’t stop smiling – I’m not going to be pregnant anymore!! Hip hip hooray! Anyway, enough of the flashbacks.

So I am walking toward the cafeteria and spot this new dad (tired and staggering, lugging copious amounts of bags, flowers, pillows, and the like) and the new mom being wheeled by a volunteer behind him. She was holding her newborn and just staring. I was sure it was their first. You look at your firstborn differently. You hate to admit it but you do. The whole experience is completely new and no matter what you tried to prepare for in your head, the reality is different. She looked at him/her in complete awe, as if it was the most magnificent thing she’s ever seen. She was completely dumbfounded and in her own world. I instantly teared up. I was witnessing her falling in complete, perfect love with her child. Congratulations to whoever the new mother was. Thank you for unknowingly sharing your moment with me. I wish you luck, sleep and easy breastfeeding.

On my way back from lunch, I stopped at the Maternity (Ward?) doors and peered down the hall. I wondered who was in the waiting room, awaiting the arrival of their new family member. I wondered if any unlucky woman was going through labor right that second. I wondered what my third walk down that hall would hold. What room will I be in (the corner one rocked the first time around)? Which nurses will I draw in the volatile nurse lottery? How large will this baby be? I can’t wait. I’m eager to meet him/her even now, ready to stare…and fall in love again. 

Pregnancy Cornucopia

To your left each week you'll notice a new fruit or vegetable representing the size of hellraiser baby #3. By the end, I hope to have accrued quite the salad.

You might be one of those people who says, "Why would you dare compare your baby to fruit?! It's a work of art...blah blah blah." If I took my pregnancies that seriously, I'd be a friggin' lunatic and have completely lost my mind by 20 weeks. Shut up. It's a size reference, it's not that I think my fetus is an inanimate, edible, object or that they should grow on trees   -    what if babies grew on trees!?

You may want to note that since I have unusually large babies, I'll probably be 2-4 weeks ahead in fruit/veggie speak. For example, right now I should be housing a grape but it's more likely a fig or lime. By this rationale, in 32 more weeks, I may be carrying one of those prize-winning pumpkins. I can't wait and neither can my unaccommodating body.

It's a...

Blogpost!! The Bandwagon has been on hiatus for a while, partially due to some posting issues with the website and also due to some posting issues with myself. With my inconvenience of a full-time job, posting (frankly, even being inspired enough to post) has been somewhat of a challenge. So, I apologize for my blogging drought. I can’t promise it will get any better but with a new inspiration growing in my belly, maybe the Bandwagon will once again flood the world wide web with my ramblings.

That’s right, my husband and I are spawning for the third time. I’m sad that the novelty of being pregnant has worn off. Don’t get me wrong. I am excited for another little pickle to be running around the house, and maybe a tad terrified. But the “I can’t wait to see what this pregnancy brings” feeling is not there. It was very much there for our first one, obviously. It was a little bit there for the second one. But this one? I’m looking for a fast forward button.

I can happily say that I’ve not yet been sick which I guess is either really good or really bad. Good in that I’m not puking out my entire digestive system. Bad in that, I hope it doesn’t mean something is wrong. I had a touch of morning sickness with my first two and it oddly comforted me. I guess whenever I had my head dangling over the toilet bowl it was confirmation of my pregnancy. “Yes, I’m puking-- barf barf barf-- this is normal-- barf --this means I’m pregnant-- barfy mcbarf barf.” Now I’ve got nothing to bank on other than a pee stick with two lines on it and lack of menstruation. That’s not enough for me. I could create my own show, I Didn’t Know I Wasn’t Pregnant. I still have 2 ½ weeks to go before our first doctor appointment so I am only becoming more and more anxious. When I wake up in the morning, a tiny part of me wishes I would vomit to just really send the message home.

Any other changes I can attribute to something else:

Fatigue – I’m always ready for a nap.

Insatiable appetite – What’s new?

Frequent urination – Thanks to my increase in water intake.

Bloating – Most likely from overeating (see “Insatiable appetite”)

Mood swings – (see husband)

Headaches – I’ve had headaches since I was 14. No news there.

Alas, we’ll see what this gestation period brings. Here’s to gaining 60 lbs., swelling to the point of non-recognition, urinating every 45 minutes, emotional breakdowns, gigantic boobs and unwelcome comments and touching from strangers. Good luck to me!